Psychological contradiction, I hate to participate in the farewell ceremony, but I have to participate.

When I was ignorant and ignorant, I participated in the farewell ceremony of relatives in the country. A child passively needs to participate in this kind of activity without understanding the concept of life and death. The relationship between seniority is really wonderful, even if you are in If you don’t like it, seniority can make you do things you don’t want to do. The biggest impact is to see the whole event and the coffin in front of you. I don’t know if you have participated in funerals in the country. It feels a bit scary, especially The tranquility around the night, accompanied by the atmosphere is like a horror movie.


Later, when I was in university in China, Ama left suddenly one night. At the moment I received the call, I couldn’t believe and didn’t want to face this fact. I still remember that I was going to take the final exam at that time. I flew back to Taiwan after the exam. Under that situation, I didn’t have the mind to prepare for the exam, so I didn’t know how to spend the time. I just remembered that on the day I received the call, I went to my friend’s room and poured a glass of whiskey. I smoked a cigarette I haven't smoked for a long time, and my friend cooked a bowl of Chinese medicine for me to drink, in order to soothe my mood and health.


It is also the first time to directly face the remains of the deceased. It is still his relatives, and the elders who care about them very much. They feel that the world is about to collapse, but they can only face this reality, but they hate it in my heart, and I hope to never again. Don't participate. After all, no one can really look at life and death rationally, and they don't know when they will leave, so they don't want to accept it.


Later, a Taiwanese friend I met in China died of liver cancer and forced myself to see him for the last time. Why is life so impermanent? Suddenly a person was diagnosed with liver cancer. He was well controlled, mentally and physically. They all seemed good, but they took a turn for the worse. I had an appointment to meet for dinner, but in the end I could only see it in the farewell ceremony.


Recently I participated in a farewell ceremony, which is considered to represent the family to participate. An elder who is very successful in a certain industry, and there are many people who do it very grandly, but the mood is very depressed, and I was chatting with my cousin. At that time, he told me that he hates to participate in the farewell ceremony. His cousin did not attend when she passed away last year. It is also a way to escape without knowing how to face this atmosphere and situation.


It is impossible for this kind of psychological contradiction to be solved one day. It is either accepted or escaped. There is no right or wrong question. Everyone can bear a different state. The issue of birth, old age, sickness and death is never easy to answer, and no one can persuade others. To accept this by one person, time and avoidance are both ways of choice.

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