When I was a child, I was a naughty and mischievous child, which is also the innate nature of all children. It is only through the gradual change and growth of different environments and education. At that time, when I saw other students' obsession with some small things, I wondered if it was such an exaggeration. For example, how should books be neatly arranged, and stationery should be placed in a fixed position. It's uncomfortable and unhappy as long as an item isn't in its place. Especially hate others touching his things! There is also the kind of neatly written, clean handwriting with distinct colors when opening notes. The more scary you feel, isn't it tiring?
So gradually grew up, and then look back on the past. In fact, more or less, I also have a little perfectionism, but it is covered up. This cover up is just to cover up your own imperfections. When you can't pursue your own perfection and requirements, the best way is to give up obvious performance. Hidden inside to increase your unease! Because you can't achieve what you want to pursue, you start to give up on yourself. Use indifferent attitudes and thoughts to spend that time, and behind every indifferent thing is the accumulation of negative energy fertilizer. If you don't, you won't be able to explain to yourself and the people who follow you.
That perfection is not the perfection that others think, but the perfection that you want in your heart. Because this is something that no one else can understand, only oneself can understand oneself. Do this to make yourself comfortable. Until one day I suddenly found myself having a very strange habit. When you open the refrigerator to get ingredients, you will deliberately take double numbers, like taking two eggs. Unless there is only one egg left in the refrigerator, eat another egg that day. When cooking dumplings to eat, you have to take an even number, because the odd number feels weird. I don't know when this habit started.
Later, when I look back on the past period of time, it seems that I am different from the self I imagined. Some things seem to be traceable, not sudden or one day. Another example is the problem of the mobile phone, in order to find a way to reset and update the installation. It used to be from the afternoon to the early morning, until it was completed or there was no way to end it. A similar process has happened several times, but there is no way to leave it alone and deal with it the next day. Be sure to do it right away, except for those things you don't want to do or are not interested in will be ignored.
In fact, this is very tiring, and it is unnecessary to think about it. But sometimes it's not like this and it's very uncomfortable, how can I let go of myself. Don't live so hard, because it also means you care about other people's eyes.
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